so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
