id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
