they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize