She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
