please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
