Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
