Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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