I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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