Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i think my cat just said my name.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
