It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
