next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
