just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
