I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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