My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
