She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
