It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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