I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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