The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
