Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize