this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
