why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I could fuck to npr.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
