You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
