Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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