Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
