Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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