I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
