I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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