Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
