there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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