love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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