We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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