i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
