he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
