It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
