What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm like, not good at living.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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