Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
