My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
