i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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