so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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