turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
