yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
