I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
