Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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