Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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