i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
