i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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