Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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