Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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