does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
