worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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