I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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