I got chris browned last night
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
