Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
