Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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