you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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