Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You pole danced in your parka.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
