white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
