I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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