I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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