Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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