Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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