he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
