totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
