the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
