it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
