i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
