just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
